Kelly VS The Philosophers

Boo Boos

Boo Boos
by Mary Cassella

If you think I can't handle hurt
you're burnt

The babies I sit get boo boos
and I sit with them and kiss them

not away
because the pain still stays
And the kiss feels weird
But it always puts a smile on his face
Or at least stops the tears
because I assuaged his fears
that nobody cares

Transcription of an old commercial

DVDs!
THey're NOT like VHS.

They're like
going to the movies
IN YOUR HOME

They're Movies
on a disk
the size
of a CD
(Sheowoww explosion!) (crooked close ups of surprised people)

One Direction

One Direction: a parody of real guys

Here's How I Feel

Here's how I feel
I feel like a spinner without a wheel
man
I feel like James Franco at his desk
I feel like I think that I know that I'm the best






Disclaimer: I have no fuckin idea how James Franco feels

Should Only Good Singers Sing

Should only good singers sing?
Should only good poets poem?
Should only Romans Rome?
Should only McCauly Culkin be Home Alone?

Should the glory be to you?
Should the glory be to me?
Or should the Glory be to God who came and crafted thee?



by Mary Cassella by God

Beast: Obnoxious. Parental Advisory

Freshly dropped video by my friend Mark. I advocate being obnoxious. Vote for him here: https://www.facebook.com/FunkVolumeContest/app_241677406005424?app_data=766

Like the page, it's okay, it won't hurt you, I can attest to that. Plus, you have to in order to vote, and you can vote every day. Trust me, he's worth your time. Bridgeport Ct represent.

It's the best video in the Don't Funk Up Our Beats Contest 6

zip code 06606
Mark of the Beast?
no.. get behind me Satan!

(but seriously Satan is under our feet you guys)

And I lied. I didn't rap at all. But you can look at my youtube for that. Scholastic content only. www.youtube.com/getoffthefloor

An Open Letter to Justin Bieber-

I would post a picture of the hand written letter but my camera battery charger is broken and my ipod is I think lost.

Dear Justin,

I wanted to go out with you since I saw your music video "All That Matters." I was moved by your sincere public ignorance of the blonde girl in the video as a message to Selena Gomez that you still loved her. I played it on repeat and it made me cry, especially when you say "What's a King baby without a Queeeen."

I never noticed you before then because you were younger than me and not sexually appealing. But then you did that little move in the video and I saw you had grown into a man's body, so I took notice. When I saw your capacity for love I was moved to tears. I also became jealous of Selena Gomez for being able to receive it. But I decided that if she wasn't going to treat you right, I would. She allegedly called you a drug addict, but I wouldn't change you for anything. So I decided I would try to go out with you someday. I also let go of my jealousy. I never posted things about you because I figured that you wouldn't date a fan. Then, though, I saw how you declared your love for her straight up when asked, even when it was asked by mean people. So from your example I began showing my love for you, seeing as she wasn't responding when you needed love. But again and again you declared your love, not caring who stared. So even though I knew it would be really fun for us to go out if you weren't hung up on her, you were and I respect your life choices, and understand love. I believe in God more and more when I see him give you what you want and get you out of jams like you get into. You are precious and I think he has favor on you, but don't let me jinx it.

Because I love you, this is really all I wanted for you: for you to be happy.
 I admitted my love for you to my peers only to have it unrequited. But I'm not mad because it wouldn't make sense if I was, because we've never met. You know that'd be weird. So it's cool, you know, we don't have to go out. I'm over it. But I will continue to love you because you have set a good example of not giving up on love. I'll keep it brotherly though. Also, anyone I have ever loved, i still love you and always will. This love is not just for Justin Bieber. And as my final sentiment I will say  like I said on your instagram picture of her entitled "Most elegant princess in the World"..Now I feel crispy.

Sincerely,

Mary Cassella

Dorita and the Nachos

There once was a girl named Dorita. Who actually was made out of pita. She had 5 sisters who already had found misters and she was all alone. She had no one to flirt with on the phone. Maybe she had lost her mojo. Or maybe she just wasn't in the zone. But alas she was singular. And exactly triangular. So why it was, she didn't know.

So she went down the string attached to the cupboard, and saw at the end of the counter, a bowl
filled with her friends. She walked inside. They talked and talked, and laughed til they cried. Then suddenly,
a rain of cheese filled the gaps between them inside. The cold sharp cheddar made them feel even better. The sprinkles refreshed the jump in their jest and they giggled and jostled in powdery zest. Then here it was, the bowl raised and clink, they were set in the microwave next to the sink. The door closed then darkness. A moment to zonking. The chips in the bowl  were mumbly talking. Beep. The light and the buzz made her feel warm and fuzzy and the grease got into her eyes. The heat of the oil made her recoil and smush with the chips by her sides. The blanket of cheese felt sweeping and hot. She blacked out with her friends all in the same spot.






by Mary Cassella